You haven't told me your story, these few years you've been wandering. How did that go?
Ooff, that is quite a story. And by that, I mean full colors. As if all the fun and chaotic nature of a theme park get compressed into just the rollercoaster. Like riding a rollercoaster with 5x speed.
I don't know if that would be fun or scary. Anything you got from all of those experiences?
It was terrifying but also eye-opening. And yes of course I got something on the road. Each experience teach me something about myself, or about this world. On this case, I learn about the true meaning of hope. You remember that one tiny spark that I keep for decades?
Yeah, the spark that keeps you hopeful and positive. What about it?
I no longer have that. And I thought once I lost that I'd be dead. Like that's the reason I cling to it, because it was my deepest, core anchor of life. Turns out, I'm still alive.
... I'm listening
Few things happened, and on those period, I learn that the spark has helped me for so long. That spark served it last purpose by helping me get back in the forest. It was timely. I can't fully process it yet, but I do know I got what I search for.
You were searching for the truth, of how this world works weren't you?
Yes, not in terms of work, but in terms of life. And I gave everything that I have to know whether hope is something that is as pure as what I thought. It was not.
I can feel your energy is weaker than before. Are you okay?
You're right, I got so little energy right now. Strange though, even without that one spark, I still want to get up. Maybe something replaces that spark? Or maybe I can move without the spark?
Nobody can truly move without a spark. And in the case where one can, it's hollow and meaningless. Either you're moving for the sake of moving or you acquire something else. I hope it's the latter. I know it's the latter.
I was about to say that I hope the same, but I changed my mind. I'm not hoping, I know. Not sure what it replaces but I don't think it matter much.
Anyway, I finished my coffee, I think I'm gonna clean myself (and my mind).